Blame it on the hormones.....

Well the title says it all, I am blaming it on the hormones! I am so emotional tonight, I am not sure exactly what my problem is! I am crying as I type this, I cried while I tidied up the kitchen & swept the floors. I cried because the bump isn't working. Ugh this officially sucks. I am a big swollen weepy mess!

Les and I got in a fight this morning & he (although he doesn't know it) started my crying this evening. He worked the last 4 days, I got out of the hospital Friday & have hardley seen him since. He is with his friends tonight. This makes me sad, again, the hormones. I just feel lonely 7 like he doesn't want to be with me...this is irrational. His friends are very important to him and over the next few weeks he has a lot of plans with them. I am trying to be understanding & supportive as things are really about to change. Maybe this bothers me so much because his friends NEVER EVER include their significant others when they do their thing. I guess I just feel like at this point in out lives we should be doing more together. His friends are so immature. They are not doing anything wrong, just BBQs, pool parties, cedar point trip, etc that they feel should only involve the guys. I just wonder when the rest of them will grow up enough & I won't always be stuck home alone. Then I start thinking about when I have the baby, will they all expect this to continue, for me to be left here alone with an infant & himt o be out with them like he is an bachelor??

I tried to discuss these thoughts & fears with him this morning but he got really defensive. All I was sayign was that I was being really supportive about all these outings & that I expected after my shower in 2 weeks he would be more focused on helping me prepare for BBs arrival. Then he starts acting like a martyr and sayign fien I won't go I'll stay here. Which isn't what I want him to do, especially since when he's here he fricken plays video games! He works hard & when he works a 4 day stretch he does NOTHING around the house, works, eats, plays games & sleeps thats it. I know he has a stressful job & I try to give him this time. Well then on his 5 days off he usually spends one or two days with his friends, a day or two "relaxing" otherwise known as playing video games, and maybe we will have one day together. Maybe I am being too needy....

I am feeling very overwhelmed in general tonight. The list of things I need to do before BB arrives is long. A lot needs to be done around the house, I still have shower stuff to organize & baby stuff to get together.....I need to make a list maybe that will calm me down....

I need to go take a soak in the tub & relax a bit I think! This is crazy! My day wasn't all tears tho. I went to see Dr. Ben my chiropractor who really helped my back, then I went to Old Navy & got a cute little monkey sleeper for BB. After that I went to lunch with my sisters & my cousin. Then I had a wonderful afternoon floating around in my sister's friend's pool. It felt so nice! Totally weightless! I hope I can do that more often!! I even got a bit of sun, which my pale skin needed!!