Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Big Decision-advice please?

I'm not sure there aer too many of you still reading, if your there please give me your 2 cents here, it woudl be greatly appreciated.

Recently I have made some comments about my job, thats its taking away from our family, that I feel perhaps its not my forever job.
In my heart I would love to be a SAHM, however for many reasons I cannot. I am still paying off my student loan, I at least have to continue working until that is done. Also we use my income for the extras, trips, eating out, gift buying, things of course that are not necessities but things we believe enrich Logan's life.

I am so blessed that I work part time, this ends of being 2-4 12 hour shifts a week. These are LONG days away from my boy. I do a variety of shifts at no set rotation and am expected to work at least every other weekend, as well as rotating holidays. This is hard, but since Les is a nurse as well it works for us, for now at least.

We have been doing a lot of soul searching, Les too feels a change is in his heart. However the change he is considering, which I may talk abotu more when we have more of a timeline, would still entail shift work and holidays.

As I talked about before I am working toward my Lactation Counsultant certification, I will be writing an exam in July that will certify me internationally. Breastfeeding is a truw passion of mine, my direction with this however is unclear. While there is a need for LCs in our area, even our hospital there is no funding and therefore no jobs, at least not currently.

And so I have been strongly considering going back to school. I was accepted to the Master's program when I finsihed my BScN almost 5 years ago. At the time i decided to defer my acceptance in favour of focusing on my bedside skill set and I am glad I did I have grown so much as a nurse.

I am not so sure thats the direction I want to take, havign my Masters Degree would open doors in teaching and perhaps middle management positions, I am not confident this is where I want to be either. And so I have been thinking about the Nurse Practitioner Program. It would be one year full time, a full year from September to the following August. I woudl also need to continue working part time. And you know of course be a wife and mother in my spare time. This is so daunting to me. The cost will be great, both financially (the tuition plus I will have to cut back my hours a bit) and of course on our family. I will be in school and studying a lot.

This breaks my heart. Logan will only be this age this once. School or the option of it, will always be there. Perhaps I should spend these yers focusing on our home and our family, continue working part time and re explore my options later. Perhaps in the meantime the LC thing will open up some doors. I am just so torn. I do love what I do, however there are a lot of other politics type issues, and just mean cattyness that I could do without.

I want to do what is best for all of us, I just keep debating on what the right decision is. I have to decide very very soon. Like this week if I am going to apply in time, should I chose to do that.

My other fears are that I will make all of these sacrifices and then there won't be funding for NP jobs either, or that I will have to work in an area I don't love as much as I so women's health.

Back ot my husband for just a moment-when he graduated he took a full time job in an area he did not like, so that I could continue working part time in an area I loved. I now he is considering finally making some changes to make himself happier and I decide I am unhappy as well? Perhaps its my time to sacrifice to dedicate myself to my work, my home and helping him reach his goals, because if those are met perhaps other doors will be opened as well....

I am praying on this issue and ask for your prayers too, and honestly I know this was long and probably chaotic but your thoughts and advice are so so needed.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Christmas Eve at our house

This year Christmas Eve was a little different, Les and I both had to work this Christmas (we aer strongly exploring career changes of different sorts in hopes that perhaps it won't always be this way). However we worked around it and had a wonderful holiday!
This year we celebrated Christmas Eve on December 23rd, this meant no mass, which is
usually a very important part of our tradition, along with visiting the grandparents. Instead we stayed in and did our traiditons slowly and enjoyed every moment of just the 3 of us!
Logan helped put the last few "special" ornaments on the tree. We have a tradition of getting a family keepsake each year from Bronners Christmas Village, as well as one for Logan. We add this years to the tree on Christmas Eve!

Its hard to see but Logan is holding his ornament in this pictures, its a train that says
"The Logan Express 2010" on it.
Each year I pick our a Hallmark ornament for Logan. I will try to chose an ornament that symbolizes that year. I have a special book that I write a letter to him in each year explaining why I picked that years ornament.
Logan gets to open his ornament on Christmas Eve! Along with his new Christmas PJs

This year his ornament was a mickey mouse riding a train. This represents his first trip to Disney in March as well as his current love of trains.
Another tradition my mom started with us was to decorate a birthday cake for jesus. I really want Logan to understand the true meaning of Christmas.
Here we are, Logan's ready to work in his elf hat & apron set!

Sprinkles on the cake!
The final product!

Logan was just interested in eating it! I try to limit his sugar/candy but this boy has a
serious sweet tooth!
After a bath and he gets into his new christmas pjs
daddy reads the night before christmas

Then of course we leave out milk & cookies for Santa

Can I try just one mama? Santa won't mind!

He is my joy. I love this boy with such a force its breath taking. This holiday season
has been magical. He has been amazing, despite having a nasty christmas cold, complete
with dried out snotty nose, chapped cheeks and a horrible cough he has been in am amazing
mood. He has been loving and sweet, and just so enjoyable.
He has been sleeping pretty good and I think has finally got his nap thing worked out, sleeping about 12-3pm and going to bed like a charm.
Watch for our Christmas Day post to come soon!
I hope all of your holidays were magical as well!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

2 years ago...

Two years ago this week we learned we were going to be parents.
We were elated. I could never have guessed just how amazing this miracle would be.
Logan brings so much joy to our lives I can't imagine what life was like before him!
I can't believe how much has changed and I am so excited for everything that
the future holds for our little family.
I certainly wouldn't mind if time slowed down a bit tho!

Visit with Santa!

In our house we believe in Santa, I love the spirit of St.Nicholas. I hope that we are able to raise Logan to be giving all year round. I love Christmas, we decorate the hosue and work hard to get everyone something special. Its a tradition that I love.
We also don't forget the true meaning of the season, and on Cristmas Eve we bake a birthday cake for Jesus and talk about how important this day is to us as Christians.
I can't wait to do all of these traditions again this year.
This week we brought Logan to see Santa. I thought he would like it. He doesn't really
play shy too much. He has really been getting excited about Santa. he says "hohoho" anytime he
sees a red santa hat. Even while we were waiting in line he was pointing to Santa and saying it...
But when our turn came to see the big guy...

He wasn't too sure about him!
He gave me big puppy dog eyes!
He tried really hard to get away!
And then he cried....
Poor baby.
I actually think this is priceless. The moment he was back in my arms he was just fine and
saying hohoho again. Well I guess we will chalk that up as one for the memory book!
And for nostalgia sake, here is the little guy last year with Santa...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Logan singing!

Logan has been singing lately, often with no "real" words just sounds, but with a tune to it.
Its stinkin' adorable! Some days he sings a song that sounds much like the songs Elmo sings where he repeats the same word to the tune of jingle bells, it just makes me melt.
This morning he was watching me do my hair in the bathroom when I asked him to sing me
a song! He was in a great mood and obliged! Enjoy!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Our Christmas Card!!!

With Love Chartreuse Christmas 5x7 folded card
Shop Shutterfly.com for elegant Christmas photo cards.
View the entire collection of cards.

I absolutely love how beautiful our cards turned out! I went with a classic look this year and I just can't wait till they get here, and of course 50 of them only cost me shipping, thanks to Shutterfly!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Stylish Seasons Greetings!

I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to make our 2010 Christmas cards! And with time quickly flying by I wasn't sure how I would do it; I was starting to think we may have to give out generic, photoless cards! Well, shutterfly has saved the day!
They have a special blogger promotion where you can get 50 free cards!
They have so many beautiful cards to choose from, these are just a few of my favourites!

Can you tell that I really love square cards? I just think they aere so fun and modern,
they add a little something extra!
I am having such a hard time deciding which card and which photo from my post below to combine for our perfect holiday greeting!
I better get a move on my decidion making! I can't believe its December already!
You could also your holiday party invitations there, or make some really unique Christmas gifts! We are giving all of the grandparents
I have been desigining Logan' s photobooks on shutterfly and have orderd several other projects in the past, including photobooks, cards and calendars. They do an amazing job! The quality is exceptional, shipping is quick and you have a lifetime of memories in print!
Go here to see how you can get your 50 free cards!

Fall 2010 Family Photos

We are so very blessed that Logan's godmother, and my "aunt" (by love not blood) is such a talented photographer. She has done Logan's photos since birth. This fall we decided to do
family photos, we hadn't done any since L was 10 days old. I am beyond
thrilled with how they turned out.
This first one is one of my favourites of L on his own, its just so pure and candid, it captures him
so perfectly right now. He loves trains and cars!

He melts my heart with that smile!

I could just kiss him all day!

These are our family ones...I can't decide which one to enlarge for our home and
which to use in our Christmas cards, help me pick!

It snowed here yesterday! Nothing stuck around but the flakes were so pretty!