Christmas & Our Big News

Our first Christmas being married was wonderful, of course the news of us expecting made it even better! It was pretty yucky that we were both stuck working the holidays & we were totally exhausted but we made it work! I got spoiled, as I usually do! And Les didn't make it to bad himself! We had so much fun telling everyone about our little one on the way!

On Christmas Eve I went to the children's mass in the afternoon with mom & my sisters while Les was at work. Then we went to a little family get together. My sister asked me flat out in church if I was PG I had to lie!! I'm sure God will forgive me! Then we went back to mom's where we exchanged Christmas PJs, me & mom bought eachother the same ones! LOL

Once Les got there we shared the news! We have it video, it was great. Mom & my sisters were there, I gave them each a small wrapped envelope and said we had gotten them all the same thing so they had to open it at the same time. Once they unwrapped it there was a card with a photo of us from a few weeks ago that said "Boarder Toll $8.00, Dinner OUt $40.00, Tickets to Greeefield Village $35.00, Realizing there are actually 3 people in this photo PRICELESS" So the three of them are stareing at it, my middle sis was mouthing the words "are you pregnant" to me because she didn't want to give it away. So I told them to open the cards which were grandma & aunt Christmas cards they all just looked at me & I said "we're having a baby!" They all startded yelling OMG OMG my mom said Sarah!! Are you sure!? It was too fuuny, they are all so excited!

We left mom's & went to mass with my in-laws, poor Les was soo tired! After we went for dinner with his parents. We gave them their gifts, the last gift we gave them was a grandparent photo frame that had a piece of baby themed scrapbooking paper that said "Baby Lopez August 2009". My FIL was just staring my MIL said "ohhh! Are you pregnant?" I said yes & they started cheering, FIL even cried, they gave hugs & got soo excited, they have wanted this for so long! We had told them we were waiting 2 years, so they were shocked too! They are excited to share the news but I asked them to wait until at least after my first u/s & we hear a heart beat.

We didn't make it to bed until close to 1am & had to be up at 5am for our 7am shift, we were very sleepy people!

Christmas Day we worked till 7pm then went to mom's for Turkey dinner, everyone was still talking about how excitred they were! Afterwards we went to my dad's where we had dessert & told them about the news. I gave him & my grandma each a calendar & told them to have a look at August. Once my dad read it got all ckoked up, he tried holding the calendar in front of his face so we couldnt' see the tears, but it didn't work! Everyone is just so excited!

Today we told my Aunt & Cousin. My cousin is 14 so I wrapped up a babysitters checklist & gave it as her last gift. SHe opened and looked like she was fakeing liking it I said "WHat is it Meg" since my aunt & uncle couldn't see it, she said a babysitter checklist, and I said "yeah you will be able to use that here come August" and my aunt just started screaming & crying, she suffered from IF and it took her many years to conceive her only child, we have always feared a similar fture for me with my ENDO.

We are still going to keep our news hushed for now, I do not want anyone from work knowing until we get back from our trip in February. Mom did tell her Grandma who said " I don't know why people keep these things a secret, the more people that know the more people that can pray for them!" It was cute. I still don't want the while world to know just yet! Les & I just keep saying "I can't believe it". I bought myself a pregnancy book & I am really enjoying it. I also bought a few Christmas baby bibs to put away for next year, they we clearing & I just couldn't resist. Although I am still feeling cautious about everything I have this strong sense of peace that everything will be OK, I think this baby is a blessing for more then just Les & I, someone else needs time or knowledge of this baby for bigger reasons. This may sound silly but its just a feeling I have.

Baby Bear, mommy loves you so much! I still can't believe you are inside of me. I am trying very hard to take good care of you already, I want you to be comfy & cozy in there! I hope you can feel all the love from all of our family & friends already. This week you are the size of an apple seed! I can't believe how small that seems & how much you are changing already. This week your heart will develop & even start to beat. Mommy can't wait to hear that magical sound! Grandma thinks your a girl too! I really have no idea & I don't care, you are my little miracle! Everyday we pray for you, we can't wait to watch you grow & to meet you in August! LOve you lots, Momma Bear

Beta #2

So my first Beta level was 136 at 13 dpo (which perfectly acceptable) however my family docotor said it was not elevated enough to confirm pregnancy...so that really upset me! I had it repeated on Monday & just got the results 1366 at 19dpo!!! Yup I'm definetly pregnant! What a great feeling! I mean I know I was pregnant before ( I kept poas!) but to have it "confirmed" with bloodwork is great!! He even said congratulations, which made me smile thru the phone!! Its starting to sinking in!
Today is Christmas Eve & I have so much to do. Les is at work I have to finish laundry, get the house in order & get tons of wrapping done. I still have to run out to finish the baby telling gift for my mom & sisters. I will post tomorrow about how that goes! I am still having cramping pretty frequently, its really more annoying then painful & everything I read says its my ute stretching, so if its my little bear getting comfy I can absolutely deal with that!! I am feeling VERY nauseated today, I have good days & bad & I have the distinct impression its only going to get worse! I am 5 weeks today my symptoms include, nausea off & on, sore tender boobs, very sensitive nips, cramping & major issues with going to the bathroom & and some wacky vivid dreams!
Baby Bear, I can feeling you growing & getting cozy in there, just keep on doing that. This week you are the size of an apple seed, however your heart will form & even start to beat! Mommy can't wait to hear that! Everyday mommy and daddy pray and give thanks for the miracle of you, and pray that you will be safe in there for 8 more months or so! Tonight we are telling you grandma & aunties & you Lolo & Lola about you. Everyone is going to be so very excited! You hold so much promise for our family in 2009! Stay cozy! LOve you lots!

Beta #1

The Doctor called yesterday & I got my 1st Beta back, it was good I think it was 164 or something, I was just so excited I didn't pay that much attention. I am getting it repeated Monday morning, he said I will have the results Wednesday morning, just in time for Christmas! I also decided to call my regular GYN office & tell them I was PG to see if I could arrange an appointment. Hey said I needed a referral but once I mentioned I am a floor nurse & also work with my Doctor they were very nice & got me my appt for January 20th!! Yay! I am a little anxious as it happens to be at the hospital where I work, but oh well beggers can't be choosers. I really do not want anyone from work to find out until well into my 2nd trimester.
Yesterday we went out Christmas shopping and had fun owwing and awwing over all the sweet little baby things. I even went to Kohl's and bought some summer maernity clothes clearing for like $2 a peice. I needed to buy a new bra already!! The whole double boob appearance was not very flattering at all! My mom called me last night upset because she thinks I am upset about not gettign PG fast LMAO!! I felt a little bad that she is so stressed about it when I am keeping this secret! It will be worth it for her to find out Christmas Day anyways!
I am feelign good these last 2 days, Wednesday was brutal tho!! My sis was out shoppign with me & I was constantly fighting nausea, it was awful. I just blamed it on AF so I dont' think she suspects anything.
Dear Baby Bear, mommy & daddy are so excited about you! Everyday that goes by it becomes more & more real that you are coming. We pray everyday for your health & safety, and give thnaks to God for blessing us with you. Keep growing big & strong, and when summer comes we will finally get to meet you. Daddy thinks your a girl, I have no idea, but really we don't care we just want you! Love you lots!

Still Can't Believe It!

I am still in such shock! On Tuesday December 16, 2008, the day AF was due (14 dpo) I woke up & decided to poas, even tho I swore I wouldn't after getting a BFN 12 dpo. When that second faint little line appeared I thought I was seeing things!! I yelled to MH to come & look alls whilst jumping up & down, he, obviously still asleep jumps up thinking something is wrong, then looks at me and says "OMG are we pregnant!?" I said "I don't know I think so maybe, do you see a line?". He's standing in the bathroom trying to rub his eyes to see & somehow in the excitement I dump out my FMU!! This was just a $tree test, I needed that urine to restest!! Anyways I manage to pee some more, do another test, another line!! I am now cryign and yellign and MH is going OMG OMG we are having a baby!!

Luckily I was able to get my BETA drawn yesterday, I am still waiting for the results. I am hopeing to have it repeated tomorrow. This morning I took a digital test I can't believe the joy I felt in seeing the word "pregnant"! Although it still hasn't completely sunk in I think I may already have a few symptoms, or maybe its all in my head. I definetly am bloated, having issues with my pants being way too tight! ALso very nauseated, almost all day long & very tired as well. But I LOVE IT!!

Of course I feel totally silly for how emtional I was thinkign I didn't O because the temping didn't work! I just had to trust my body I guess! We are just so happy, I am 4 weeks today! I can't wait to tell my family, my mom asked today if I got AF and I lied!! I really want it to be a Christmas surprise! We plan on telling our immediate families Christmas Eve, if the Beta's come back OK. 2 years ago on Christmas Eve we got engaged, so it seems liek a great time to share the news. Our parents are going to be estatic! We just have to think up a great way to do it!!

To my Little Baby Bear, your mommy & daddy are so excited to know that you are coming. We love you so much already & you are so very wanted! We are very thankful to God for creatign you jsut for us & every day we pray that you grow big & strong inside of me! We can't wait till everybody else knows about you!

I've been tagged by cbusgirl



Rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about you.

3. Tag up to 7 random people at the end, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.



________________________________________________



1. I am slightly OCD and super organized

2. I love to travel & went on exchange to Sweden for 6 months

3. I am terribly uncoordinated & can't play videogames

4. I HATE cleaning & have been known to PAY my little sis to doe housework

5. I have only had 2 real boyfriends & married my high school sweetheart

6. I used to collect all things PIGS (had over 400!)

7. I love the show Jon & Kate plus 8 & imagine my little ones looking like theirs!



I tag skinnursemandee , Amy & ILoveJav

Feeling Down

So this morning I poas, I was feelign hopeful its only 12 dpo, BFN. I am feelign more and more like this is not going to happen easily for us. I have faith that we will have children, I just think that it is going to be a bit of a struggle for us. We'll see I guess. I keep trying to focus on how blessed we are. We have such amazing friends & family, good jobs & a beautiful house. In time we will have a baby to love too. Maybe the timings not right. We are going on a big trip next month. I will give it till March then go meet with the doctor. I am trying to stay positive, I mean it only has been 3 cycles. Its just that with my endo (which seems to be more & more painful each month I am off the pill) I think next cycle we will try OPKs as I am not convinced I am Oing....
Today has just been a lovely lazy day, in my Pj's slowly doing housework & laundry while bumping & relaxing. Its nice to have a day like this every now & then.

2 week wait

This has definetly been the easiest 2ww yet! I think that possibly my broken rib could have something to do with that. I am assuming I am 9dpo, which only gives me 5 more to wait and since I work 2 of this days & have 2 parties, one at my house & have 11 DOZEN cookies to bake, it shouldn't be too bad.
No phantom symptoms yet, except the cravings, but I'm an odd ball and often have cravings for all sorts of things! I expect af Tuesday but not sure if I will test that morning or wait till Wednesday afternoon as I work nights Tuesday. Between tomorrow & then I must resist the urge to poas!
I find I am becoming increasingly obsessed with all things baby! I love looking at baby bedding & imagining how I will decorate our little bears nursery, or wandering thru the baby depratment, ohing and awwing over sweet little outfits! Oh then of course there is my bumping, which DH thinks is totally out of control, but I could say similar things about his addiction to video games! ANd now this blogging, I becoem completely enthraled with other peoples ttc journeys, I love reading their experiences and feeling like there are people so much liek me out there. By the time we actually do get PG this could get completely out of control! LOL
For now I suppose I can go on happily with my little life & my big baby dreams!

Ouch!!

So I haven't written in a few days. I spent much of my weekend in agony or in the ER. It turns out that I have a fractured rib, mostly likely from my fall down the stairs a few weeks back. I asked the doctor why it would take so long for me to be in that much pain from it. He said it was most likely caused by some incident exacerbating it, such as vomiting, another fall, bad cough, vigorous exercise...I was stumped. I refused an x-ray becuase it would have been 6 different films, iht me ttc & being 6 dpo it wasn't a risk I wanted to take. Luckily the ER doc agreed & sent me home with scripts for heavy pain killers. I got in the car and asked DH what he thought could have caused the pain to get worse, he figures it was all the sex last week for O....who knows?!

I am looking forward to tonight, having a girls night in with pizza & movies, anything to distract me from the pain & of course the 2ww!

Discouraged

I am feeling so down today. I was "due" to O this past week based on my 28 day cycle. Of course I Was on nights all week, my temp indicated nothing. I was so hopeful that I would see something....
I think I am so upset about this because I just want to know that I am OK, that I am Oing...with my endo and the question of PCOS I am so nervous that this won't happen for me. It leaves me with either I haven't O'd yet, I did O and it wasn't detected or for some reason I am not Oing at all. Now I am in a major limbo, its like a 2ww but worse. I will keep temping and hope to see a rise and keep BDing everyother day just to be safe.
DH is not cncerned at all. He thinks its too early to worry, that we shoudl jsut relax about everything for a few months and let things happen on their own. I get his view, however with my history feel like I should be more proactive. After we get beack from the Phillipines if I am not pregnant I think I will look into OPKs or a monitor. If I am not pregnant by April I am going to ask for soem tests to be done. My mother & my sister both got pregnant when consciously trying NOT to, I was hoping I would have some of their genes in me....perhaps not.

Night Shifts & temping...

I am working straight nights all this week, so of course my temps are going to be affected. THis worries me a little as tomorrow is my predicted O day. It will also be hard to find some quality time with DH for baby making, we will only see eachother for abotu 2 hrs today & tomorrow. I am still hopeful that a thermal shift will be evident despite my shift work. I lied to my family yesteday, the asked if we were still trying, I had mentioned we were going to coem the fall. I told them that because of financial concerns & our trip planned for January we decided to wait. I just dont' want the pressure of people asking & I would also like it to be a surprise once it does happen.
Work was a little difficult last night. All of my patients were teenagers, and none of them in positions financially, or pschologically to provide to babies, yet here they are pregnant, or with a beautiful newborn. It frusturates me how that can happen yet there are so many people who would make wonderful parents & who coudl give a baby the world who are struggling ttc. I have to remind myself to have faith, and not to question God's plan in all of this.