I know it took me a long time to get it done but here it is! Its a long one, I am glad I got it all written down tho. Here is the moment Logan was born & they put him on my chest (sorry if this photo is too much for some of my readers, I am comfortable sharing it tho!
My pregnancy was challenging to say the least. I was taken off work at 15 weeks on March 13th due to bleeding & placenta previa, I was placed on modified bedrest. At 28 weeks this finally cleared, although my placenta was still low we were able to attempt a vaginal delivery when the time came, I had mixed feelings on this. For some reason I was convinced I would end up with a c-section & was tempted to have an elective one as I really feared childbirth. At 29 weeks I was admitted to the hospital for 18 days with gallbladder issues, I was unable to eat & was placed on TNA for 3 days to ensure the baby was receiving adequate nutrition. I finally was sent home at 33 weeks. At 34 weeks I started to have complications of swelling & high blood pressure.
On Wed July 22nd I was 35 weeks I woke up from a terrible nights sleep with a headache & visual disturbances, DH noticed that the swelling in my legs was worse & that my hands & face were now swollen. He took my BP which was very high at 150/105. After sleeping & going for my massage therapy appointment we retook my blood pressure & it was the same. We decided to head to the hospital, I assumed it would be a quick in & out visit. I was admitted, I was SO upset I had only been home for a week & half! They started a 24 hour urine collection & monitored my blood work & BP closely. I had protein in my urine but the blood work was not too bad.
Thursday July 23rd, 35 wks 1 day. I was feeling increasingly worse. My headache was unbearable my BP continued to rise and the swelling was now from my forehead to toes. I spent the day in a dark quiet room trying to relax, around 4pm I started to feel my heart racing & I felt panicked, like a feeling of “impending doom”. I know this sounds ridiculous but as a nurse I know this is something to take seriously. I called my nurse who called the OB (mine was away & his partner was covering). She came & checked my cervix, it was closed & long but soft. She made the decision to induce me right then. I called DH & my mom to come up to the hospital. Our plan was for just DH to be there for the labour & delivery & for our family to come just prior to delivery & be in the waiting room. Since everything happened so quickly I had no bad packed & nothing with me so my mom came & stayed with me while DH went home to get some things together.
6pm-Brought to high risk unit, foley catheter inserted in cervix. This caused some cramping in my lower abdomen & perineum. I was given Demerol for my headache at this time as well.
6:30pm- Anaesthetist came to start IV because the nurses were not able to because of my previous hospital stay & numerous IV attempts. The magnesium sulphate was started to keep my blood pressure under control & prevent seizures. The decision was made to insert my epidural catheter at this time without giving any medication in case I was going into HELLP and we were unable to do it later if my platelets dropped. Foley catheter was inserted in my bladder, I was put on strict bedrest & was unable to have any fluids by mouth even water or ice chips because of the risk for seizure.
7:30pm-The oxytocin was started to induce labour. The cramping was becoming more intense, contractions were starting to pick up on the monitor, but it was not as bad as I expected, it was all in my bottom that I felt the pain.
9:30pm-The Dr came to “tug” on the foley cather, it came out easily. My cervix was 2-3cm dilated and 50% effaced. My water was broke-I was shocked at the huge gush there was. DH was still at home getting things together at this point he is still a little sad he missed all this. He arrived shortly after & my mom went home. We made some phone calls & let our friends & family know what was happening but asked that no one come up since it was early in labour & I was only allowed 2 people in the high risk room.
10:20pm-After my water broke the contraction got more intense I still only felt them really low in my abdomen & in my vagina. The epidural was turned on as my blood pressure was getting higher with the pain. I had always planned on getting an epidural anyways so I was fine with this, especially since I was stuck in bed & my coping strategies were very limited. After this DH & I just hung out in shock that this was all happening so early & so fast. We got on the internet & updated facebook & my blog then watched some TV and I slept for a few hours.
Friday July 24th
12:30am-The doctor came in & checked me before he went to bed (the DR stays 24 hrs when on call) my cervix was 4-5cm dilated. I was very happy with my progress considering I was on the Mag Sulphate & it was an induction. I was starting to feel pretty crappy from the meds, I was SO cold from my neck down but my face was on fire. I was putting warm blankets on my body & cold cloths on my face.
1:40am-I started feeling a lot of pain & pressure in my bottom & lower abdomen again. I was “topped up” thru the epidural. This worked to get me comfortable but made me vomit-which was awful. I was able to sleep a little more after I got some Gravol.
3:30am-The epidural wore off again, the nurse paged the anaesthetist to see if we could try different medication as it only relieved my pain for a few hours and made me so sick. The Dr was in the OR so I had to wait, this was very difficult, I was vomiting from the pain, & crying, DH was great he kept talking me thru it and reminding me to breather because I kept holding my breath. The pressure was so intense. I know it was hard for him to see me like that.
4:30am-The anaesthetist finally came and gave me a different, stronger combination of medication thru my epidural. I was able to get some relief but was still vomiting & started getting the shakes. I thought perhaps I was starting with transition because as an L&D nurse I know sometimes the epidural can’t keep up with the pain at that point.
5:00am-Getting uncomfortable again, I was crying & tossing in the bed, DH felt so bad for me. The OB came to check me I was only 6cm but was 100% effaced. I was so disappointed & discouraged. I knew I couldn’t keep going if we couldn’t get the pain under control. He offered to do a c-section at that point since I had only changed 1-2cm in 4 plus hours. I was so tempted to do it because I was still afraid I would end up with a section later anyways and I was in so much pain. I looked at DH who said it was up to me. I looked at my nurse/colleague and asked her what I should do. She said she didn’t’ want to give me bad advice but that the baby’s heartrate was good and that when she checked me she felt that there was ample “room” for the baby to come down. I denied the section (hoped I wouldn’t regret it but asked for pain relief and something different for the nausea. I was given another top-up (#3) and maxeran for the vomiting. I asked DH to call my mom at that point because he was so exhausted & clearly needed support in supporting me. I am so glad I did this.
6:20am-My mom came & went into full mom mode getting me warm blankets, cold cloths, cleaning up my puke (lovely) and encouraging DH and me. I had some relief for about 45 minutes but the pressure was back it was all in my bottom.
7:00am-The pressure continued to get more intense and my vomiting continued. I told my nurse I needed to have a bowel movement and asked for a bedpan. She checked me & I was 7-8cm, this was encouraging, the baby was also getting much lower. She said the pressure was jus the baby and encouraged me to breathe. I was given another top up at that time by the anaesthetist again, a much larger & stronger dose. The pressure and urge to push was SO intense but I knew it would cause cervical swelling so I tried so hard not to.
8:30am-My regular OB was called to come in & assess the situation they were still having trouble keeping me comfortable & were again questioning if I needed a c-section. Thank God baby was tolerating everything very well. I was in agony, I told the nurse my body was pushing on its own, she said that was OK, the pressure was unreal. DH was having a very hard time seeing me like that. My OB came & checked me & I was a rim, just a tiny but of cervix left and the baby was super low, which I could feel. He ordered that I get another top-up and that if that didn’t work my epidural be restarted he did not want me to be that uncomfortable, he was upset I had been so uncomfortable for so long.
The baby was turned slightly the wrong way so they turned me on my side to try to get him to turn. I was given more medicine & received some relief, the pressure was still there but tolerable.
9:20am-My OB came in checked me, I was fully dilated; he had me do a practice push & said I was a great pusher. He wanted me to start pushing. The nurses got the room ready & my mom went out to the waiting room with the rest of the family.
9:30am-I started pushing. The baby turned into the right position while I pushed. Everyone says I was a great pusher. DH was with me, my BFF, who I work with, was working & was holding one of my legs. The encouragement I heard in everyone’s voices was amazing. I could feel the baby moving down in my pelvis as I pushed. He squirmed all the way out, it was unbelievable to feel that. The NICU had to come for the delivery since I was pre-term, the NICU nurse who came was my mom’s BFF, who took care of my sister in the NICU 25 years ago. I pushed for 35 minutes. I was able to totally zone in on the pushing and focus only on that, it was so empowering. Just as the baby was crowing (and I felt the ring of fire) someone said to DH, last guess, what do you think boy or girl? DH said I don’t know, it really doesn’t matter but if it’s a girl I am getting a shotgun! I delivered with the next push, I remember them saying “Sarah open your eyes look at your baby” and seeing this beautiful little face, the next thing I heard was my DR say “No need for a shotgun! It’s a boy” and looking at DH and being so happy. Logan Lawrence Cruz was born at 10:05 am, weighing 5lbs 10oz and measuring 18.5inches long. They placed him on my chest & the nurse in me started stimulating him & saying “breathe baby” finally he started to cry & took a breath. DH cut the cord & the nurse took him to the warmer to check him over. He started having trouble breathing right away. They let me hold him for a moment before DH carried him down to the NICU. He was put on Nasal CPAP to help him breathe and they had to start an IV. After 4 hours he was breathing on his own. We were not able to initiate breastfeeding until later that evening, but he did well with it right away. He spent 1 week in the NICU, mostly because of jaundice caused by an ABO incompatibility. My blood pressure remained high for about a week, but I am doing much better now. Logan is doing amazing, at his 2 week appointment he had passed his birth weight & today he weighs 7lbs 4 oz! He is EBF.
I know that was really long for those who made it to the end thanks for reading!