scrapbooking

I have always loved scrapbooking. I found it relaxing, inspiring to sit and cut and plan and glue. When I was pregnant I dreamed of making a beautiful keepsake for my baby. I was going to make each of my children a beautiful book each year. It would start with their birthday and go thru the entire year highlighting of coures holidays, special moments or jsut wonderful photos. I was going to stay caught up with it so I was not overwhelmed with beign behind. Well, things did not go as planned.

Things got so busy and while I went out and bought (oh the money you can spend on scrapbooking!) I never had a chance to sit and get started. Even if I had been able to sit down and start, I would have to pull everything out and pack it away, or maybe find a place to leave it all out. Then there was sorting thru all of Logan's digital photos, choosing which ones I would scrap, uploading them, printing them, picking them up. Its just felt like too big a feat. So I kept putting it off, and all the while had major mama guilt about it.

And then I found Kelle Hampton. Seriously, if you don't read her blog you should. She is amazing, and her daughters are beautiful. She just seems to do it all, the kind of mama I always thought I would be, the one I'm working to become. She bakes, crafts, photographs and loves on those girls fiercly. And she makes them photobooks. Amazing beautiful inspiring books.

And so I have gone digital. It just makes sense, I can leave it and come back to it. Sure the actual hardcover 12x12 amazing book will be a pretty penny, but surely not more then the cost of all that goes into a scrapbook. I was gifted photoshop elements 8.0 by my wonderful sisters and took soem of Kelle's advice on embellishment sites (OMG you guys you can get them FREE)

And so here is the start of Logan's first year book! (Now my plan is to play catch up with this as I stay caught up on year 2!)

What sleep does for us...

For sometime now sleep has been an issue. In the beginning we co-slept and it worked wonderfully we all slept great. I loved my boy snuggling in close, we nursed most of the night, and we slept! Then at 7 weeks we started a slow transition to the crib, and that too went great. We did drowsy but awake and from 3-4 months he was STTN in his crib and we all slept.
Then the 4 month wakeful hit, and we went back to co-sleeping. At first just in the night, but we had to nurse/rock to sleep. And then we went to Florida and everything went out the window! Of course on vacation our schedule and routine were totally off, and so we went to full time cosleeping. This too was fine for a while. L would nurse to sleep in our bed then I coudl get up and get soem stuff done, I went to bed when he woek around 11 to nurse. And then he started waking more and more. At the worst it got to him waking 8+ times a night and only being able to sleep if he was nursing. I was forced to go to bed with him at 8pm or keep him up let, making him overtired and miserable. I was at a loss. I felt like cosleeping was what he needed, since he slept somewhat that way.

But he was exhausted, overtired and cranky and to be honest so was I. A few weekends ago it was at its worst and I just couldn't do it anymore. I read a few books and decided to do CIO. I never ever thought I would be I was desperate.

I loosely followed Ferber but followed my gut as well. I did the 5, 10 and 15 minute soothing except that if he was really worked up sooner I went in early and if at the specified time to go in he was whiney and not crying I waited longer. The first night it took 14 minutes at bedtime and one very painful hour at 11:30 pm when in the past I would bring him in my bed. I did it for naps as well. I think the longest at naps was 12 minutes, by the third night there was maybe 1 minute of moany whining if at all. Same with naps. Its like I have a different baby. He is sleeping 10-12 hrs straight at night, sometimes I hear him wake and fuss a little but I have only had to go in 2 nights in the last week and a half. He is napping for 1-2 hrs both in the morning and afternoon. I rock him and give him a bottle and then lay him in his crib. If he falls asleep in the car I have even been able to transfer him into the crib and he goes back to sleep. I am so glad I did this, despite the really tough first few nights.

And now I have a well rested happy boy. And he has a well rested, calm and patient mama. I know this is not for everyone, and please don't judge us, I assure you he never cried for more then 10-15 minutes without me going in to soothe him. He never got so upset he was sick, I always went in far before then.

Party Planning....

On top of the rest of the craziness of life I am super party planning mode. L's first birthday is 42 days away! ((tear)) I can't believe how quickly he has grown. We are doing a pirate party! The colours are red and blue. I am making the invitations and a lot of the decor. I have been really busy getting all of my ideas and order. And finally I have an inspiration board put together,

tell me what you think...any ideas to add?

We have a HUGE guest list, at about 90 people (yup seriously). Since we really feel strongly about having the party at our house we plan on doing an open house to best accomodate everyone. Can I ask everyone to please pray for nice weather? We will be setting up some tents and really count on using the outside!

I have ordered that awesoem cake in the center and plan on doign cupcakes for the guests who come before cake time. I am makign collages and organizing L's photos to have around the house. I had really hoped to have his photo book ready but it just doesn't seem possible at this point.

We are getting a bouncy castle for the kiddies, a slushie machine, cotton candy machine and will have lots of munchie type foods.

I also plan on having a craft table for the kiddies to decorate their own pirate swords. I have ordered L a special outfit and will be making his birthday banner myself. I am a little overwhelmed and really excited!

A step back...

If anyone still reads this I'm sorry. Clearly I have taken a step back from blogging. It wasn't intentional and I hope its not permanent. Things are just busy and something had to give.

I hurt my back pretty seriously a few weeks back and have been seeing the chiropractor regularly and unfortunately this has set back my work out routine.

Logan is so busy these days, he just doesn't stop. He is happy and wonderful and healthy and non stop. He is a super crawler and just in the past few days has started walking with his push toys.

I am planning the ultimate pirate party, for what looks like a guest list of 90 people.

I go mack to work in 8 weeks and my "to do list" of things to accomplish before then is perhaps a little over zelous. This includes such things as cleaning out all my cupboards, creating a play room for L, finshing (and starting for that matter) L's first year book, getting away on a few family trips, and the list goes on.

We are cltoh diapering part time and its going great.

I hope to share more, including photos of all these happenings very soon. Right now sleep isn't going well and so Iam going to nap with my babe.

My first mother's day!

Last year I got a few cards and a small willow tree figurine to honour my first mother's day with a baby on the way. I was still feeling well and so very excited.

I had no idea just how amazing this journey would be.

This mother's day my very best gift came from Logan. On Thursday he started saying "mama", the sweetest words I have ever heard.

Les had to work on Mother's Day so we celebrated on Friday. I stayed in bed 2 hrs longer then my men did, until 9:30 and then was greeted with pancakes in bed! Yummy
For my Mother's Day gift I got the Tassimo coffee maker. I have wanted one for a few years now and was super excited! We have already been getting lots of use out of it! It will be so fun when we have company over.

I am especially excited to be able to enjoy my own chai lattes at home!

When life gives you lemons...

Life lately has been good, I means minus the sleep thing...

However I still have those days, those really tough days when L is super clingy, and my house is in ruins and I just feel like I can't keep up.

Or perhaps I make the mistake of getting on the scale and I see VERY little progress despite my dedication to nutrition and exercise....

And then my sweet boy reminds me what life is all about. He shows me how much I have to be happy for, and just how to handle those lemons...

You hold on, with just one hand if that's what it takes, and you smile despite it.
Speaking of lemons, here Logan decides to give one a try...

Not sure if he liked it or not, he went back for seconds...

And of course life is all about improvising and compromising, nothing like a new way to use a shopping cart. But who doesn't love when their baby sleeps thru the ENTIRE grocery trip?

My sweet boy reminds me often that life is much better then I give it credit for. There aren't too many lemons these days, and when there are we are still pretty happy.

In search of balance

Logan is an amazing little eater, most people are just shocked when they see him eat. I am so happy with our decision to take a BLW approach. Logan eats everything we eat. He seems to like everything except avocado. We are up to 3 solid meals a day plus one or two snacks, depending on our schedule. He is still nursing 4-7 times in 24 hrs and sometimes takes a bottle of formula before bed. His favourite foods seem to be broccoli, corn, chicken and yogurt.

Logan is oh so busy these days! Wonderful and sweet and just non stop. He is crawling now, full on up on all 4's crawling! He is fast too, especially when going after the cat, cat food or anything electronic! He is pulling up a ton too, on everything, from the couch to his toys, to the wall! He can get back down efficiently and has even mastered squatting to pick up a toy and getting back up one handed. It just amazes me. I am so in love with this little man.

You would think with all this non stop activity and eating that the boy would be a good sleeper, I now I'm exhausted just trying to keep up to him! However sleep is where we are struggling these days. Logan is a busy body, a social bug, he likes to be out and about, the days we stay home he is unsettled and cranky. When we aer out he naps wen he is tired and is pretty flexible about where, even if he misses a nap he is pretty happy and content to be out. Bedtime is another issue....

We are back to co-sleeping, this in itself is not such an issue for me. The problem is Logan will not fall asleep or stay asleep unless I am in bed with him, and he is touching me. After a 2 hr struggle between the crib, our bed and my arms my sweet boy is finally asleep, beside me. As I sit here in the dimly lit room looking at his sweet face and his hand gently resting against me I think back over the last 9 months. They have just gone by in a blink. I am trying to remind myself of this. I am trying to tell myself to stop, to savour him. He won't always want to be so close, I will crave this one day. I will think back and have trouble remembering his sweet body curled up against me. Perhaps I need to stop fighting it, perhaps I need to find a compromise.

My struggle is my feelings of being overwhelmed. I love Logan, I love motherhood. Some very rare days it goes epically well. I have a happy baby, who naps, and plays and I have a tidy house and laundry folded and dinner cooking. I wish this happened more, most days I feel I just can't keep up. Most days I have a baby who just wants his momma, and most days this is more frustrating then it should be. Most days there are dishes in the sink, laundry piled in baskets needing to be folded, laundry in the washer now needing another rinse cycles, floors needing to be swept, toys needing to be tidied, and a dinner consisting of sandwiches, or take out. I always thought I would be the all together mom, the mom with a baby on a happy schedule, a sparkly house, and of course I would look just great, I won't even get into how I look....

I need more nights like tonight, when I realize that the laundry and the dishes and the floor can wait. That my sweet sleeping boy wont' always need his momma as he does now. I need to learn to ask for more help from my husband. I need to learn to manage things better during the day and perhaps to find a better purpose to an evening in bed beside my Logan. These days too are numbered, in 3 short months I will be back at work and looking back at this time and missing it.