Happy Halloween!!

Here's our little Mickey Mouse!! He just makes my heart melt! Logan LOVED Halloween, he loved trick or treating and handing out candy-oh and eating candy too!

I have lots more pictures to share soon! Very soon!
And here's my little man at the pumpkin patch! He picked and carried out his very own pumpkin-and he was so proud of himself!

Finally Les & I-LOL!!! WE won a Halloween costume contest at a couples party! We went as Tiger & Elin! We threw the costume together last minute-I can't believe we won!

Perfection & outrage...

Again no picture! Just a quick thought I wanted to share!

I came across this article online this morning. I am truly outraged by this persons ignorance. I am overweight, and although I do not see myself as obese on some little chart somewhere I just may be. And although I know a healthier lifestyle is what I need, getting to that point is a journey. I most certainly do not need some so called "wrtier" to tell me that "obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over", she clearly is an expert on the topic. I guess this women is perfect since she can be so judgemental towards the rest of the world. I see that she has added a insincere, I am sure madated apology that I find no comfort in.

And this is a bit out of character for me but I most add that I am not surprised that with this type of degrading and condescending attitude "she is in her thirties and never been in love before". Perhaps she needs an attitude change before she can find love. Les is overweight too, and I find it extra hurtful that she would be "grossed out" by seeing us kiss eachother, at least I have love, complete with our imperfections!

For me, for us?

I love what I do for a living. I am a registered nurse in a family birthing centre. I have been there for over 4 years. I work in 3 different areas, post partum, high risk antepartum (those mamas on bedrest) and labour and delivery; this last one is my favourite area.

I am so blessed to have a job I love, I also feel very blessed that because Les works full time (also as a RN in another area & hospital) I am able to work part time. And while

working part time may sound, umm easier, its not. For me that means shift work,

a combination of 8 & 12 hour shifts, days, nights, evenings, afternoons. Pretty much

whenever/whatever they schedule me I work. To make it even more complicated

I often don't get scheduled enough shifts leaving me to "pick up" shifts when they are available,

this means 5am call ins, scrambling to arrange child care, night shifts with no nap, etc.

Of course I also work weekends and holidays, after all babies come when they please.

I can't even write more on this topic with out tears, I will just leave at, I work this Christmas,

so does Les. I will be leaving Logan for Christmas. I won't see my baby on Christmas.

Deep Breath.

And so I have been doing some soul searching. As I said I love what I do. How many people love what they do? But I love my family, I love my baby, I want more babies (in plural, I have always said 2 kids, and now I think I want more!?)

I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I wish more then anything that I could stay home. I wish I could make a business out of my digital books, invitation, tutus, hair clips. But we can't. We are a two income family, and we need to be. I am still paying off my student loans. We are saving so that our babies won't have those student loans.

I have been exploring my options with gusto. And while there are several career changes/advancements/shifts, all within the scope of nursing that I am

thinking may be in my future I have decided to explore one for now.

With how busy and overwhelmed I have been feeling I may be just asking for more stress,

but I need to stay focused, think of the end....

I have decided to get my Lactation Consultant certification. I know this isn't earth changing, but it could bring good changes to our family. I'm not sure exactly how yet, I'm not sure in what way I will use it but I believe its somethign that can really benefit us. I hope.

Next month I am leaving for 5 days (big gulp) and taking a course, next summer I will write my exam, and hopefully be officially certified. I have wanted to do this for some time, and I guess the time is now. I hope it pays off like I need it too! At the very least I know

it will allow me to help new mamas and sweet babies in an area that is very dear to my heart.

Discipline

I have been writing this post in my head for a few weeks now. We are struggling with a new issues as L enters his toddler stage. How and when to discipline. Let me start out with this is not a debate, while I welcome advice I am not looking to be criticized for our choices.

Logan knows and somewhat understands the word "no". When he first started becoming mobile I debated on using this word, as some mom on a mommy forum I frequent think that its not a good word to use. After some personal reflection and dicussions with a preschool teacher friend I decided that "no" is an important word in the English language. L needed to know this word and follow it. I try to be consistent and only say it when I mean, most importantly in safety situations.

Most of the time he listens to us, other times he looks at me with a very defient look and continues on with what I have told him no. In such cases I use redirection, I physically direct him away from whatever he is up to (often my computer, the cat food, the garbage, electrical outlets, etc) and help him find an appropriate alternate activity, such as books or toys. For the most part he momentarily protests and then is effectively distracted. This has been working. Very rarely have we just receantly started "spanking" his hand. This is only in situations of danger or when he is hurting someone/something (primarily the cat or dog) AND redirection has not worked. I have also just receantly started using a form of "time out" while I realize he is too young to completely understand this I find removing him helps. If he is being really difficult and trying I physically (and firmly) remove him and place him in a spot just away from where we were and this gets him upset because in a firm tone I say "NO (insert action)" and I very breaifly walk away from him and do something (for about 30-40 seconds) I count and cool down or make sure the cat isn't bleeding etc. Then I reapproach him. I get down in his level, I have a softer tone. I try to explain what he did wrong in simple words and I tell him to say sorry, which he doesn't but one day he will. Then I hug and kiss him and engage him in an activity together. I think this is working as well.

However in the last few weeks Logan has starting displaying some behaviours that I do not like and I am not sure how to approach. It is especially difficult because he is still so young (just under 15 months). I am not sure if these are learned behaviours (from daycare??) or if htey are just a normal part of him expressing his developing indpendence. He becomes very frusturated if something is not working his way (like if his push toy gets stuck or he can't reach something) and he will bite himself (on his hand or arm) or he will scream and clench his hands/teeth, he sometimes also hits himself or the cat or us. I try to talk to him and help him thru the frusturation I try to tell him to ask mama/dada for help.

I know for certain many of his behaviours are more of a cause and effect activity. He throws things and makes an angry face while yelling something like an "AHH" noise. And then he loosk at me to see what I do. Its as if he is testing me! If the behavoiur is not hurting anyone (us, him and animals included) I for now am ignoring it. Instead I wait a few moments until he has stopped ( I don't want to reward the behaviour) and I will interact directly with him (if I had been busy with something). Perhaps part of it is looking for attention? Again, if the behaviour is harmful I immediately address it, even if I don't believe he is trying to hurt us/him I won't allow it. Such harmful behaviours include, hitting, pinching anf biting, to both himself, the animals and us. At first this really really concerned me. I discussed it with our doctor and neither of us believe L has any developmental issues (he has well over 15 words now, he has great comprehension, he follows simple directions, he is extremely affectionate, and loves other children) we believe these are just nromal toddler actions, but I still feel it needs to be addressed, to some degree at least. Is anyone else facing anything similar issues? If you are how are you dealing with it?

Since Logan was very young I have prayed each night over him and I have asked God to bless me with the love and patience that HE has with me so that I can show Logan the same. I want to parent the way God does. I want to have a loving and obedient child, and yet I want to allow him to learn from his own mistakes. This is such a hard role to play. Before I had Logan I had so many ideas on how my child would act and how I would parent. And while many of these I still hold true, some I do not. Its such a hard line tho!

MckMama recently posted soemthing that spoke to my heart on the topic, she words it much better then I can! Head over and check it out.

And since no post is complete with out pictures, here are a few swing pictures from the apple orchard! I can't wait to check out the pumpkin patch next weekend!

Remembering angels today

I am very thankful that I have not personally experienced infant loss. I do have friends who have, and today I am remembering for them. As a Labour & Delivery nurse I have also experienced this and there is nothing more heartbreaking.

At 7pm tonight please light a candle and let it burn for an hour for all babies born sleeping, or those who were carried and never met, or those held yet not taken home. This wave of light will shine thru the entire world.

Potty Time?!

We have decided to go ahead and let Logan get aquinted with the potty! We are taking it very very slow, he is just under 15 months!

I took the potty out about a month ago because Logan started to make it clear when he was or was going to pee or poop. And so I thought OK why not?!

At first we had success with poops because its very obvious when Logan is going poop!

SO we just take him to the potty and set him there and read him a story and he goes! I know this is ME initiating the potty and not him but I figure it at least helps him to associate the potty and when he "goes".

Today he woek from his nap with a dry diaper so I put him on the potty and sat with a book and after just a few minutes he peed! (He has peed before but only with a poop!). I did the big dance and clap thing and he looked at me like I was nuts! LOL. I think I will continue to put him on the potty upon waking just to try and encourage potty related success.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving! I have so much to be thankful for, my beautiful family, especially my husband & sweet Logan. And of course, my mom who is such a help to me!

Les and I have both been working the entire weekend, including today, the holiday. My mom has Logan, I miss him so much!

I can't believe this was him at Thanksgiving last year!He looks so different! We will be going to my mom's before work this afternoon for a Turkey dinner, my mom is the best! No wonder Logan loves his gama so much!

We have been doing some fun family things with the beautiful fall weather we have been getting.

We went apple picking twice last week! No we don't love apples that much, the first time we went I forgot my SD card in my laptop, I was so upset. So we went back a few days later!

Logan loved it both times, so it worked out!

Arriving at the orchard!

We got a chance to use out our new ERGO baby carrier. I had wanted one of these since L was a baby, I waited way too long but decided to just go for it. We all love it! Logan is comfy and content, Les fidns it comfortable as well! I haven't used it a ton yet but can't wait to!

Logan especially loves it if daddy jumps or dances while he is on his back!

I loved watching Logan pick apples. He used both hands and the look of awe and pride when he got it off the branch was great! He had so much fun!

There's that look! Sweet baby.

He thought daddy trying to eat the apple was pretty funny too!

I love this shot in front of the tractor. I really want to get a bit more aquinted with my pse8 editing program. This photo is raw but I think it would be even better with soem tweeks.

Can I eat this momma?

Delicious.

Me & my boy.

Our little family.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Big Boy Bed!

Logan has never been a real fan of his crib. I don't think he loved beign confined, since he will sleep well on his own in the guest room on the big bed in there.

For that reason I always thought we would move him to a toddler bed a little early.

Given that I was still pretty shocked when at 14 months he started trying to escape his crib.

After a few attempted escapes that left him literally hanging on the top rail unable to get down or back into the crib and him terrified screaming and me terrified he would fall and be seriously injured we decided the crib days were over.

He has been sleeping in the guest room for a while, but since that is also his toy room its caused a problem. He often wakes at 2am and starts playing with his light up musical toys.

The guest room will eventually be his big boy room, but not until we get the basement finsihed, probably in 2 years or so.

So we decided it was time to convert the crib!

He seems to be interested in it anyways!
He quickly put a few of his stuffed animals in there and climbed in himself!

And he can safely get out by turning around and going backwards

And he even took his nap in it this morning! We won't work on bedtime just yet but hopefully he can get used to naps in there for now!

We need to finish totally baby proofing the room (or toddler proofing I guess!) and I think

we are going to get a baby gate for at the doorway like we have in the playroom in case he wakes up I don't want him wondering thru the house while we are asleep!

I can't believe my little baby who was JUST BORN, is in a big boy bed, my heart can't take this!