For me, for us?

I love what I do for a living. I am a registered nurse in a family birthing centre. I have been there for over 4 years. I work in 3 different areas, post partum, high risk antepartum (those mamas on bedrest) and labour and delivery; this last one is my favourite area.

I am so blessed to have a job I love, I also feel very blessed that because Les works full time (also as a RN in another area & hospital) I am able to work part time. And while

working part time may sound, umm easier, its not. For me that means shift work,

a combination of 8 & 12 hour shifts, days, nights, evenings, afternoons. Pretty much

whenever/whatever they schedule me I work. To make it even more complicated

I often don't get scheduled enough shifts leaving me to "pick up" shifts when they are available,

this means 5am call ins, scrambling to arrange child care, night shifts with no nap, etc.

Of course I also work weekends and holidays, after all babies come when they please.

I can't even write more on this topic with out tears, I will just leave at, I work this Christmas,

so does Les. I will be leaving Logan for Christmas. I won't see my baby on Christmas.

Deep Breath.

And so I have been doing some soul searching. As I said I love what I do. How many people love what they do? But I love my family, I love my baby, I want more babies (in plural, I have always said 2 kids, and now I think I want more!?)

I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I wish more then anything that I could stay home. I wish I could make a business out of my digital books, invitation, tutus, hair clips. But we can't. We are a two income family, and we need to be. I am still paying off my student loans. We are saving so that our babies won't have those student loans.

I have been exploring my options with gusto. And while there are several career changes/advancements/shifts, all within the scope of nursing that I am

thinking may be in my future I have decided to explore one for now.

With how busy and overwhelmed I have been feeling I may be just asking for more stress,

but I need to stay focused, think of the end....

I have decided to get my Lactation Consultant certification. I know this isn't earth changing, but it could bring good changes to our family. I'm not sure exactly how yet, I'm not sure in what way I will use it but I believe its somethign that can really benefit us. I hope.

Next month I am leaving for 5 days (big gulp) and taking a course, next summer I will write my exam, and hopefully be officially certified. I have wanted to do this for some time, and I guess the time is now. I hope it pays off like I need it too! At the very least I know

it will allow me to help new mamas and sweet babies in an area that is very dear to my heart.