Night time parenting

Have you seen this ad for mirena? It makes me laugh. I mean if this was your sleeping situation would you really need birth control? HA!

Those of you who know me IRL or have read my blog for sometime know that we have been on again off again cosleepers/bedsharers for sometime. I talked here about how much this decision surprised me. The before baby me said this would NEVER happen, and yet it has felt so natural to me. Its funny how that happens. We got to a point several times where the cosleeping was no longer working and so we transitioned, one way or another to the crib and that worked well for those times as well. So where are we now?

Prior to the big changes that have occured in the last month Logan was back to an awesome sleep routine (with the help of Ferber). He was going to sleep on his on about 8pm and sleeping thru till about 7am, without waking up! Then he would nap in his crib about twice a day for 1-2 &1/2 hours at a time. It was amazing.

Being back at work everything is a bit chaotic, to say the least. We haven't worked out a great routine, and I am not sure when we will. I work part time, this means my shcedule is ever changing, there is nothing predictable about it. Logan has gone from mama 24/7 to mama being gone for days at a time. Since Les and I both work shift work there are many times where we have had to leave Logan with my mom for DAYS. Like right now, he went to daycare all day yesterday and my mom picked him up after work, he slept there last night and again tonight and Les will pick him up tomorrow when he wakes up in the afternoon and I won't see him till later tomorrow night, if he is still up when I get home.

Logan LOVES my mom, he cries more when she leaves then I do (sadly). I know he is happy there, I know he is safe and loved and well cared for. However I am sure its still a little confusing for him, he must wonder why he is there and where I went. He doesn't sleep awesome there, he sleeps in the pack and play and I don't feel like its comfortable enough for him. I am in the process of trying to get a crib for there.

However, despite the changes at my mom's he still was sleeping well here, until he got sick. Les and I took turns sleeping with him. He only slept in small spurts between crying (this coincided with Tylenol dosages). His fever was so high and his breathing so laboured that we were terrified to let him out of out sight. In the hospital I signed a waiver allowing him to sleep in a bed with me because the metal cage like crib scared him.

Since we have been home we have found some middle ground. He goes to sleep at bedtime on his own with little to no struggle. He wakes up sometime in the night, usually between 12 & 2 and we take him in our bed. And we all sleep. I could probably rock and comfort him and get him back in his crib but I haven't tried.

Les and I admitted to eachother that we love having him share our bed. There is nothing like his little body snuggled between us, he fawns out and he puts a hand on each of us and smiles as he closes his eyes. He clearly feels such a sense of comfort and peace from us. We can give him that, how could we deny it? Is it parental guilt that has brought us here? We leave him for 13 hrs, for days, he goes from daycare to gramma's, he MUST miss us, we certainly miss him. Perhaps he craves that extra love, even if it is given in our sleep.

I have talked to a lot of other mama's with littles like Logan and bigger school age babes. So many of them (most reluctantly) admit many nights their kiddies make their way to their bed as well. If this co-sleeping/bedsharing/nighttime parenting is such a common occurance why is it still so taboo? Why do others (often from other generations or those without children) look so negatively upon this? While I know there arenmany people who chose to nighttime parent in other ways that do not include bedsharing, and I think that is awesome if thats working for all of you, I think its much more common then a lot of people realize. I have decided (once again, after all we've been here before) that I am embracing this. As I was receantly reminded by Mckmama I am going to miss this soon, much sooner then I would like. There is so much from this past year that I miss aleady.

Home :)

After 5 days and 4 nights we are home. What a scary experience for us. I hope to never see him so sick again. I have more to write about our stay but for now my boy needs some mama love. We are home, Logan is doing much better, he is not quite 100% but he is on the mend. Thanks for the prayers!

In the hospital

Logan was admitted to the hospital yesterday. He needs IV fluids and IV antiobiotics to try and resolve his pnuemonia and ear infections. He is doing fairly well with being couped up. He has an IV in his arm which luckily he has stopped bothering with. He WAS fever free, however this afternoon began to run a fever again. So now we are doing blood cultures to find out if there is something more going on. Here are a few pitiful shots of my little guy, you can see in his face that he is not feeling his best. Poor baby bear!

Really sick baby :(

They say that the first year a child is in daycare involves many illnesses, that they need to build up their immune system. Well, Logan is certainly doing that!
Last Monday Logan went for hsi well baby exam and got his 12 month vacinations. Wednesday afternoon he woke up from his nap miserable and feverish. I assumed it was from his shots and started giving Tylenol & Motrin. This continued all night. The following day we called his doc who said that if it reached 40 degrees we needed to go to the ER. Well sure enough Thursday night his temp spiked to 40.3 degress (this is around 105 F). Off we went to the ER, they examined him did bloodwork and catheterized him for a urine sample. This was brutal. My poor little baby was traumatized. The concluded it was a double ear infection and after 6 hrs we were sent home early Friday morning with a perscription.
The entire weekend Logan continued with a fever despite Tylenol & Motrin around the clock. He would seem to be doing better, be fever free and playing and BOOM you would see him start to turn. He would cry and thrash and moan and just want to be held and then you could feel him heating up.
Monday we brought him to our family doctor who examined him and changed the antibiotic, concluding the first was not working. He said within 24 hrs the fevers should be gone. Again, at first he seemed a bit better and then yesterday afternoon it happened again, the same ordeal, crying and a fever. Our doctor advised us to go back to the ER.
They were wonderful at the hospital. A week long temp in a baby is serious enough for fast attention. After some blood work, an IV and a chest x-ray (my poor poor baby) they diagnosed him with pnuemonia. They started IB antibiotics and sent us home with the IV lock in his arm. We go back this afternoon for further assessment by a peadiatrician. He has just been sleeping, hsi colour is a little pale/grey and he is moany. He did wake for a bottle but is still refusing to eat (he has been for a week). I am anxious and pray they do not admit him, however we will do whatever is best for him.
Oh and I am SO sick, pretty sure I am developing pnuemonia myself. After I get my baby all settled I will be heading in for a chest x-ray of my own.
Thoughts and prayers are being gladly accepted! This was our vacation week we were supposed to go away!

C is for:A photo story

This morning I decided to take out Logan's cue cards of the alphabet, I bought them when I was pregnant and we hadn't played with them yet. We have the alphabet up on the wall in his playroom and he loves looking at it. If you say "Logan where is the alphabet?" he turns to it!

And then I sing the song. We also have the leap frog magnet alphabet toy and he loves that as well.

So I layed the cards on the floor and when he picked one up I would say the letter, the sound and the corresponding word.

When he picked up the C card, I said C, S says ccc, like CAT, what do cats say Logan? then I meowed....well my smarty pants little boy picked up the C card and walked over to our Cat, Calvin, to show him the card. I am serious, Les was there! He is so stinkin smart!

Here's the story, complete with photos!

Logan: Look Calvin! C for CAT, just like YOU!

Calvin: I will bite you! (and he did!)

Calvin: I'll bite your stupid card too!

Logan: I just want to play!
Calvin: Go away stupid baby!

Logan: what's his problem mama?

1st birthday and WORK!

My Baby is one! I can't believe it. I LOVE this picture of him in his birthday outfit! SO stinkin cute! Everything turned out great for his party, I am waiting for the pics from our WONDERFUL photographer, Tracie Gignac of Focal Point and Hebert Studio Photography.

He totally make my heart melt in everyway! I have a whole birthday letter/post that will be coming very very soon (I hope!)

Here is a collage she put together of his bake smash photos! They turned out great. Poor babe was sick with his first bad infection that required antibiotics the week before his birthday. He really wasn't that into the cake smash, but the pics turned out great none the less!

I am officially a working momma. Man this is tough! I hate leaving him. I work 12 hour shifts so with hand over and my comute I am gone at least 13 hrs. I miss him incredibly. And I am exhausted. I am working hard to juggle it all. Its summer and lots of babies come in summer so we are BUSY at work.

Logan is adjusting really well. He loves daycare and even spent this entire past weekend with my mom. He came home saying "gama" this puts him at 8 words! He says mama, dada, bubba, hi, bye, kitty, ball and gama! My smart little man. He is walking a lot now as well, even running at times! He still crawls about half the time, but its unbelievable how fast he is growing.

I hope once we establish a better routine I can get back to blogging more regularly. Its a great outlet for me!