Disney Live!

I've been working on this post forever! Trying to catch up (on this and MANY other areas in my life) before chaos sets in!

Back in January we brought Logan to see Disney Live! We really debated about whether or not it was worth the money, him being so young. We are so glad we went! What a great family day!

Here are Les & Logan at the start of the show, I can't tell who was more excited! ha

Mama and her boy! His eyes were glued to the stage!!
He was so excited he stood in front of us and was jumping up and down!

Enjoying a little popcorn snack during the show!

Mickey & Minnie of course were there!

And Logan's absolute FAVOURITE right now Woody, Jessie, and Buzz!!! He kept saying "Buddy" his word for both Woody and Buzz!

At the end of the show he signed for "more"

Our happy little family!

Scared, nervous, excited??

Well my friends, its official, I'm going back to school!

Eeek, I have no idea how I feel about this!! I mean of course I am happy,

its what I wanted (I think!) I will be doing my Masters of Science in Nursing.

I hope that thru the struggles that I am sure are ahread I can keep my eye on the prize,

and these sweet smiles along the way should help!

Of course I am scared. Its going to be hard. I am going to need my husbands support more then ever. I will still be working 2-3 12 hour shifts a week, in addition to school.

I plan on writing my thesis on the effects of community supports on the success of breastfeeding.

I feel like now is the time, its not going to get easier as L gets older or when we add more little ones to the family. So I should get started now.
My goal in the end? Well, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps teaching, perhaps public health? I am just positive that this will open doors in the future.
My big picture goal is that by the time L is in full day school I have a Monday-Friday day job. I can't miss weekends, and holidays and bedtime forever.

Our test run starts in May, I have to "upgrade" a basic stats course. I took it in 1st year, but because that was over 5 years ago it must be redone. I will be in school 2 days a week. This is going to be a juggle! L will be going to daycare more often, and hopefully now that his "asthma" is under control we can avoid more illness! I really hope I have made the right decision for our family. A "sign" that I have seems to have come receantly, my work changed their tuition assistance policy. they now will pay $1000 per course, up to 5 courses a year. My tuition is $1200 per course. I can also apply for additional assistance from my professional organization, this means that I will practically be going to school for free!

We have many more exciting things coming up! Hope to update soon!

Rough Patch

We are going thru a bit of a hard time lately. I'm exhuasted, stressed, working a lot and trying, mostly unsuccessfully to juggle it all. Les and I love eachother very much but we are fighting almost constantly. I feel unsupported and he won't talk about how he feels.
L is so so busy, he is not sleeping well and is beign whiney and clingy during the day. I feel like I just can't do it all. I'm sure this too will pass, and i have some ideas on how to make things better, but could really use some prayers right now!

My life long struggle

I have struggled with my weight since puberty. As a child I was thin, it was never soemthign I worried about. Perhaps because of our active lifestyle (we didn't have a car until I was in the 6th grade!) and our lack of money that led to healthier eating!? Who knows.

Around grade 8, I was about 13 I started gaining weight. I actually had to go out and buy a second graduation dress because my first purchase became to tight in the months leading up to graduation. This is when I began to diet. I have "dieted" off and on ever since.

There have been times I have been succesful, in grade 9 I slimmed down, I was a healthy weight. And then in grade 10 after a "bad" break up I decided to lose, I became obsessed. I had a problem. I never admitted it, I'm not even sure that at the time I realized what I was doing was so unhealthy. I ate little, no breakfast ever. At school I ate lunch, usually veggies or soup. I worked out, at night I purged and then often made myself sick. I made myself to crunches for every pound I weighed. At the time this was about 125 crunches, on my 5'3" frame this was a healthy weight. It quickly fell to about 105.

Thats what I weighed when I started dating Les. I wore a size 0 jeans from the Gap. I was tiny. I looked so petite. I loved it. I finally felt cute and yet not confident, I was always so unsure of myself. It didn't last. A few years later in grade 12 I remember I all of a sudden realized how "Fat" I had become. We were planning a trip to Acapulco, our entire class. I had to lose weight. I remember how devestated I was shoppign for clothes and them being a size 7. I weighed about 130 lbs and I was disgusted. I got some weight off again, but never got as small as I had, or as small as I wanted to be.

I tried everything, crash diets, shakes, weight watchers. But I have always goen back to terrible habits and emotional eating. My weight has largely fluctuated all of my adult life.

Fast forward to University, the weight continued to go up and down, I did some herbal diet that was successful up until when I stopped and gained it all back. In 2005 I went to Sweden on exchange, I left here weighing my heaviest ever (at the time) of around 170 lbs.

Whiel in Sweden I was SO lonely. I worked out a healthy amount everyday and cooked good whole foods, I came home about 20lbs lighter. I felt good, I was happy to be home, and the weight came back slowly.

In 2006 when I got engaged I was unhappy an in the 160s. I deicded to join weight watchers and to start moving, I had success, healthy succes, here is Les and I just prior to our engagement party, Spring 2007. Les had lost 70lbs himself in this same time that I last about 15 or 20.

Somehow, again I let the weight coem back. And months before my wedding was devestated to learn my wedding dress did not fit. Every brides night mare!

With the help of a personal trainer, and healthy eating I lost 20 lbs and got down to about 150 and fit into my dress. You would think I would learn at some point.

And yet in the 6 months after my wedding I managed to gain about 30lbs. As did Les.

December 2008 I got pregnant and weighed 188lbs, my highest weight ever.

July 2009 Logan was born, I weighed 204 lbs. I was disgusted.

At my 6 week post partum check up I weighed exaclty what I did when I got pregnant, I can't blame L for this! I joined weight watchers Fall 2009 half heartedly, I worked out and did manage to lose about 10 or 15 lbs. And then I stopped, and the weight came back.

This is Les and I this past fall, I hate how we look. I am ready (finally hopefully forever) to change. I am hoping that L is my strongest motivator ever. I am sick of hating picutes, of hating myself. I want to have energy for my boy.

But it goes beyond that. Both my Maternal and Paternal grandmothers are morbidly obese (I am talking 300-400 lbs) this scares me. Les and his family members have similarly struggled with their weight. Poor L has crappy genes. I have to at least give him healthy lifestyle habits and lead by example. We all deserve it.

I have once again (FOR THE LAST TIME!!) joined weight watchers. My work offered the program, I got a great deal ($200 for 22 weeks!) and the fees are taken right off my payroll.

I started 2 weeks ago, I love the new program! I weighed in at 188.8 lbs on week one. Today I am at 182.8, thats a 6 lbs loss in 2 weeks! We have all been eating much healthy, its becoming a way of life.

As soon as the warm weather hits I'm adding exercise to the plan. I deserve this, and most importantly so does L!

If you made it this far, thanks. I will keep you updated as I continue on my journey!

Great Expectations

I know, I should be ashamed! Ha Life is crazy, and yet its no excuse. We just have SO much going on, and too think very soon its going to be even crazier (nope not #2! Just work/school, etc).

I have so many blog posts started that I haven't finished and so many blog ides in my head that I haven't gotten out....

Mr. Logan is 19 months old!

He is full of fun and curiousity and he is super indpendent! he wants to do everything himself, even things he can't do!

He wants to pick out his own clothes and attempt to dress himself!

He feeds himself and even likes to get his plate and bowl from his drawer and set the table!

He is talking a lot more these days and starting to really converse.

He is IN LOVE with Toy Story and refers to the movie (any of the 3), Woody and Buzz all as "Buddy" he asks for it constantly. He carries a Woody and/or buddy doll everywhere and sleeps with them as well.

He has a baby doll that he loves on, and sleeps with. I love this and am totally happy that my boy can be so nurturing. He shares his blankets and even his beloved "guk" (pacifier) with it!

He is getting into a lot of trouble these days just because of his curiousity and strong will!

He is super affectionate and cuddly.

He sleeps in a big boy bed. We have established a good bedtime routine and it goes really smoothly, he sleeps alone at least half if not more of the night, one of us often end up in there before morning, or early morning, which we are fine with.

Here are a ew photos from this week!

Logan dressed himself! he is obsessed with boots and wants to wear them everyday!

Climbing, he climbs everything!

Naptime, you can see baby is right beside him and Buddy isn't too far away!

I wanted to write a little bit about parenting. As I have said before I don't feel that I follow a particular philosophy, I do what feels right to us.
I have been reading other mommy blogs and speaking with some RL mommy friends and I realized something. I think we should EXPECT great things of our children, and perhaps we will just give them the opportunity to surprise us (hopefully pleasently).
This came about when I was talkign about Logan's current love of salad (seriously what kid LOVES salad, he does!) and she asked how he eats it. I answered "with a fork" since he indepdently feeds himself with cutlery at each meal (it can get messy but he and I wouldn't have it any other way). She told me she felt her son (4 days older then L) could not feed himself, that she spoon feeds him baby food 3 times a day still and offers small finger foods such as cheerios as a snack. I am not criticizing here, please dont' read it that way-and if your LO is still spoon fed thats OK if it works for you. But I said to her what if you just tried it, handed him a spoon you may be surprised.
I have decided to take on this mind set. I expect L (within reason) to make good decisions and have good behaviours. To go to bed on time (after his stories and lullabies). Often I can directly relate his "bad" behaviours with him being overtired, hungry etc, often situations that we created for him.
I hope this works into potty training this summer as well!
We have been doing time outs for some time and when placed in time out (at times i even "send him" and he just goes and sits) he will pout, but usually not cry, he sits for a minute and then I talk to him and he says sorry and hugs me. It really redirects his behaviours quickly.
Last night he had his first time out at a restuarant and it went well, no tears, just some puting followed by a hug and a refreshed well behaved L at the table! I was so proud!

Lastly, today is my birthday! I am 28! We aren't doing anything too special, just being a family and enjoying a pancake dinner!
I have started WW and hope to update this week about it!