14 months

Logan, you are just over 14 months! You are such a big boy! Daddy and I no longer have a baby you remind us daily that you are now a toddler! You are strong and independent and oh so smart. You understand so much for your young age!

You follow short and simple commands such as "Get a book" or "get your shoes" or "give this to daddy"

You are so inquisitive, you love vaccuming, and the vaccum, HAS to be on. As soon as you are doen eating you go and get the vaccum and clean up!

You still love bathtime and when I say "Logan its time for a bath" you run to the tub and try to climb in with all your clothes on! You like me to leave the water running so you can stick your head under the faucet! Your our little fish!

We started you in swimming lessons and you do SO WELL! Your teacher says you are very advanced with your floating and putting your face in the water.

You take gymnastics classes and you run and clinb and jump and have a great time.

You like to talk these days! You are even starting to put more words together, however you WILL NOT talk on demand, only when you have something to say. Words/short phrases you say:

1. mama

2. dada

3. gama (grandma)

4. Kitty

5. baba (bottle)

6. bye

7. hi

8. ta eww (thank you) You started saying this on your own when we give you things! :)

9. where's ??? (ex war dada, war mama?)

10. ball

11. wasat? (whats that?) you point to EVERYTHING and ask this all the time!

12. again

13. No (complete with head shake)

Even things that you can't say you communicate to us very well. You make this funny little scrunched up face and kinda sniff real fast while opening and closing your hands towards whatever it is that you want.

You have started to climb. You climb easily onto and off of the couches and beds. You have attempted to climb out of your crib but end up stuck on the top rails and get scared. You pull larger toys over to shelves and counters to try to get higher!

You are a great little eater. You eat just about everything. Your favourite foods are cheese, watermelon, grapes, yogurt, and chicken. But you are not too picky, I hope it stays that way!

You are a social bug, just like your daddy. You love to be out and about and you love people, especially other kids!

You like to stand in the front window and watch for the neighbour kids to get home from school, when they do you get all in huff and want to go outside to play with them.

You walk and run everywhere now, its the cutest!

You are very affectionate, you hug and kiss everything. And you blow kisses to, complete with a "muah" sound!

You LOVE getting your feet rubbed, you will come and sit with us and put your foot in our hand to get us to massage them.

You LOVE grandma so much, and thats a good thing because you have sleepovers there when mommy and daddy have to work.

You still usually take 2 naps a day and you sleep pretty good at night for 10-12hrs, you usually sleep with mommy & daddy, which we love. We know when you are ready you will go to your own bed.

We love you so much Logan, you make us smile and laugh everyday. You are so pure and curious, you have shown us what real joy is.

Randoms and THE Book progress!

With two nurses as parents perhaps a career in medicine is in Logan' s future?

His doctor kit is certainly one of his favourite toys of late!

I am in the middle of a week off from work. I needed it! We have been pretty busy with activities all weekend, but these next few days I am usign to relax and spend some

quality time with my boys.

Since Thursday Logan has been miserable. Just not himself. Well, his first set of molars are

braeking thru! At least I know why he has been feverish and down right cranky.

Poor guy must be so uncomfortable. It seems he is a bit better yesterday & today but still not 100%. I ams strongly considering getting one of those amber teething necklaces. Anyone know

anything about them? The store here that carries them is closed till tomorrow. I figure with

how much misery he is in I will try anything (short of whiskey on the gums!)

I have a few excitng things in the works at the moment that I will be able to share soon (I hope). Some are blog relateed, some personal (we are NOT expecting, although I am starting to wish we could add to the family sooner then later I just feel we are not ready) and some work related. Thanks for the kind words in the comments of my last post. I know that with prayers and perserverence we will be just fine!

I have really been working hard on Logan's book. I am still just over half way thru but I am so

proud of it! I just finished the Disney page, which puts me in March. 4 more months to complete.

I have also been working on his 2nd year book at the same time. I am not 100% caught up but don't feel super behind either. Which is great.

Here are a few of my latest layouts. I really think I am getting better as I go. I can't wait to have the actual hard cover in my hands!

struggling

Here is a photo of my boy and I at the zoo last weekend, I have many more pics and a whole post coming soon (I hope!). I am working on blogging more, that and many other things!

Latley I have just been feeling like I am struggling with life. I actually have questioned whether I could/may have some late onset PPD or anxiety or something. I am honestly not sure, although I think perhaps its just stress? I know no one here can answer that and I am hoping to figure it out for myself.
It started maybe a month or so before I went back to work and its just gotton worse. I just feel like a failure. I am tired all.the.time. I have actually take a few pregnancy tests because I am just that tired (they were negative, I have the mirena & I'm on the pill, but I guess you never know). I am so blessed that I love my job, and when I am there I love what I do (for the most part). I feel so honoured to play such an important role in a family's life. What is more memorable then the birth of your child? And I know that the nurse can really make or break your experience. Because of this I go to work, on my way each day I say a prayer that I can do God's work. Once I am there I see myself as a facilitator and advocate for my patient, I want her experience to be the best it can be, whatever that means for her and her family. I believe I am good at this, and thankfully this hasn't changed.
However, the drawback of my job is my long hours. Often I leave L for days at a time. On my new schedule he will go to my mom's Tuesday afternoon and I won't pick him up till Friday afternoon. She will bring him to daycare each day, pick him up, do his dinner & evening routine, put him to bed and dot it each day till I am not working. How awful is THAT? Literally she is beign the momma. I have such bittersweet feelings about this. I am so so thankful my mom can and is willing to do this. I cannot think of a better "substitute" for me. And L LOVES her so much, he is so happy with her. I just hate leaving him, I just hate that several nights a week I am not tucking him in or singing him to sleep. I hate hate hate it.
Also, because I am part time I do wonky shifts flipping from days to night and back with a 24 hr turn around. I feel so guilty about beign away from L for so long that I will only let myself sleep 3 or so hours and then get up to get him from my mom or daycare. Then I find that I am tired (even if I sleep longer, which I often I just can't) and I am not as patient with him as my heart wants to be. Then I feel guilty.
Of course other aspects are suffering as well. My house, I can't even explain to you. Its clean, but messy, like really messy. Les works long crazy shifts as well, so we are both exhausted after beign gone for 13 hrs, something just has to give. We are strongly considering a cleaning person twice a month, I am just not sure its in the budget.
And then there is my marriage. I love my husband very much, he is a wonderful and loving man. He helps with L and the house. However I am a strong believer that marriages need work, they take effort. I hate to admit that we are not always putting in the effort we should. I have complete faith that we are and always will be a strong couple, however I know that I need to find more "us" time.
And as usual, lastly me. I most days hate myself. I know thats awful. Its the complete truth. I look in the mirror and I am so very discouraged. I have lost all my baby weight, I can't hide behind that excuse forever. I will always struggle with my weight. I know the lifestyle changes that I need to make. I just don't have the energy or motivation. I am largely an emotional eater, when I am sad or stressed (often about everything I am writing about here) I eat. This is not good.
There are so many things that I just don't have time to do that I really enjoy, like digital scrapbooking, hair clip making, crafting, blogging, and with the list above, this clearly falls to the bottom of the priorities. I am hopeful that the change of trying to juggle work and everything else is the driving force behind all these feelings. I am hopeful that I can perserve that I can fidn just the right way to fit it all in, and at least be good at most of it. I know I am hardest on myself, I just have high expectations I guess. I always thought I would be so good at all of this, and I am so saddened that I am not.
I guess I'm not sure where exactly I going with all of this, as usual it just feels good to get it all out.

Logan's First Birthday Party! (better late then never) *additions made!

I know its ridiculous, on the eve of his 14th month I am FINALLY posting his party pics. In my defense I didn't get the photos back until just a few weeks ago!

It was totally worth the wait!

Our theme was a friendly pirate 1st birthday! I wanted everything to be fun and bright. I came across some commercial pirate things last fall on clearance, which led to our theme decision.

I am not huge on "boxed" commercial parties. I only bought a few peices and decided

to make the rest to make it unique and personal. We went with a blue & red colour scheme. I am thrilled with how everything turned out!

Photos by Tracie Gignac of Focal Point & Hebert Studio photography

Let's start with the invitation, I designed on photoshop:

My very happy birthday boy, was such a wonderful guest of honour!
Birthday Banner I made! So happy with it!


"ONE" high chair banner I made, as well as his high chair set up.

Logan's bib


"1" birthday hat!


pirate chair!

Logan's absolutely perfect birthday outfit! I got it from the etsy store bloomingbabies

utensils with birthday pirate tags made using "stickers" and photoshop.

I think small personal touches like this really help to "make" a party.

Door banner again using coordinating paper from banner/centrepeices and "stickers"

Entry way with paper poms!

Centrepieces, tall glass vases with blue and red glass stones and pirate themed pictures,

these were made in photoshop using digital stickers and coordinating paper with the banner and door sign.

Favour table. The adults got pirate sugar cookies (in basket) and a photo of Logan in his birthday outfit. Kids got the pirate chests inside were packages of animal crackers, ring pops, temporary pirate tattoos, bubbles, bouncy ball, pirate pencil and several gold coins.

For toddlers there were gifts to the left, a package of goldfish crackers and a board book. One special gift for a friend with allergies.

Sugar cookie favours. You can see the parrot to the right! Again, the pirate on the tag coordinated with the invites and other decor.

Cake! It was delicious, top layer was red velvet, middle mocha and bottom vanilla.

Cake set up with cake smash poster to right.

cupcakes I made!

Double purpose gift/centrepiece little people pirate ship!

Slushies, adult and kiddie versions, pop and water bottles, and of course cotton candy!

Personalized water bottles I made!

Close up of text on water bottle, the other side was a pirate!

Craft station, make your own pirate sword! this was a HUGE hit!

Bouncy castle, all the kids loved it, except Logan he was terrified!

Gift table for our lucky boy! So blessed!

Our little family!

Cake time!

Yummy...

It was such a wonderful day! I still can't belive my baby is one!

Now I have to figure out what to do with all this pirate stuff! LOL

(edited I found another mama on the bump planning a pirate party for her sweet boy,

and so I packaged it all up from the banner (sans Logan's name) to the centrepeices and decor. And snail mailed it to her! Hope her boy has an amazing first birthday too!

I really wanted Logan's party to be special. I wanted it to be fun and for everything to be unique. I started with a few commerical items and worked hard to personalize it along the way.

I did all of the stationary myself. I wanted a cute pirate theme, I wanted it to be very childish and not scary at all. I bought a pack of digital "stickers" from Designer Digitals for $4.50. I had never worked with these before but it was super easy (using the instructions on their site). I used photoshop as well as microsoft publisher to do the designs. I then used the stickers again on Logan's scrapbook pages for the party. This was my first step in switching to digital scrapbooking. Any other questions please feel free to ask!

Little Man

I'm not quite sure exactly when it happened....

But my sweet itty baby has turned into a little man...
An adorable, fun, and curious little boy...

At 13 & 1/2 months, he runs, he walks, he is constantly pointing his finger and asking

"whats that?"

He is my greatest joy...