Saturday, April 16, 2011

Ready but not....

It's hit me, I'm starting to feel it, the itch! I'm ready for baby #2!! Well mostly.

There are days when I look at L and I just want him, I don't want to give a single second of my limited time with him away. And then I think of my sisters and I, we are so close, I want that for him as well.

So while my heart and mind (mostly) are ready my life is not. This makes me SAD.

I want my kids to be relatively close in age, around 3 years apart, which means this is something we need to seriously start thinking about. However, Les and I have our rough moments. Never do I doubt we won't be OK, I know we will, but I wonder if we shoudl perhaps work on things more before adding more stress (which a pregnany & baby can be). We need to work on helping eachother and doing a better job of keeping the house, cooking meals, etc. But part of me says that because marriages and relationships are constantly evolving there will ALWAYS be work, a marriage is afterall WORK!

There really are 2 main things that Les and I agree are a hurdle we most overcoem before TTC. (Money COULD be on this list, but again we could always use more money, we do OK and never have to worry about if we can provide, so I think in this economy thats pretty good!)

1-my sisters wedding! She is getting married in November and while I actually think I look better pregnant then not *its sersiously true! I am worried I will have complications and end up on bedrest like I did last time. My sister lives over 16 hrs away and counts on me greatly to help. We intially thought we would consider TTC after or around her wedding, but issue #2 interferes with this plan!

2-school. I know I will be welcoming #2 while persuign my Masters. I am so blessed that the program I am taking is accomodating (I have heard new mama's often bring their newborns to class & nurse right there!) and since i am part time it will only be 1 class a week, which is doable ( I hope!) even with 2 little ones?! If we wait to TTC until after my sister's wedding (Nov/Dec) that would make me due in July/August, and then I would start school in September, just weeks later! We are thinking it may be wiser for me to aim for a due date of May/June. Which would give me 2 or 3 classes under my belt as well as the entire summer off with my little ones before starting school again.

This gives us a lot to think of! For now I am getting ready to start my first course (I have to retake a statistics course that is outdated from my degree) and we will see how well we manage before making too many decisions! Its exciting and scary all at once!

I hope I'm not taking on too much here!

And since this post was long and rantish, here are a few pics of my little man.

We have been LOVING this weather! L plays outside HARD with the neighbourhood kids in the evening, he rides his electric scooter, runs, jumps etc. When bedtime comes he is exhausted, one night he actually fell asleep while I was doign up his sleeper!!

Look at these smiles! He asks to go outside ALL the time now! We are going to be super busy this summer and I LOVE it!


Mitzi G. said...

you are correct in saying that there will always be ups & downs in a marriage & that is a good thing I think. You & Les see that you need to work on things so that is an even better thing!!

You will know when the time is right for you guys & everything will be great it it your gut & your faith!!

Jillian said...

Praying for you during this time!! Hoping for wisdom with this decision!