Work

I have spent my entire day in my PJs, mostly in bed. This is not a common occurance, even tho I have been off work, but today I am suffering from some terrible bug.

I spent sometime on the phone with one of my besties, a friend who I am also lucky enough to work with. She was filling me in on soem the new occurances at the hospital in my 3 week absence. This made me realize something. I love what I do, I really do. I am very blessed to take part in such an amazing moment in the lives of these families. I work as a registered nurse in our local family birthing centre, I work both post partum and labour & delivery. Its a wonderful happy place. However as much as I love it, its hard. Working in a world with 150 other women can be trying, we all tend to have strong personalities. We also do shift work, being part-time these shifts vary from day to day, we can flip from nights to days with only 24 hrs in between, physically this is very demanding.

My friend is considering leaving our area, this makes me sad, because I love working with her, of course we were friends first & always will be despite being coworkers or not, its just like a bonus. She is finding the job just as demanding and in addition ,they have a little one & are planning on addign to the family in the next year or so, they find child care very difficult, financially she has had to pick up extra shifts in other areas to help out. This has really got me thinking about out plans for me returning to work after Baby Bear comes.

I am totally the kind of women who had thrive as a stay at home mom. I love cooking, baking, crafts, outings, etc. Sadly this is not a possibility for us. Financially we both have to work. However me being off has financially cut our budget back some. I think it has helped me to see that I can definetly work part-time, and at least be home a good chunk of time with Baby Bear. Also thankfully, we live in Canada so I will have a whole year off before I even face this prospect. I think by being part-time I can work my scheduel & shifts around Les' master schedule in a way that we will not require outside childcare, besides my mom. Eventually we plan on putting baby bear in a montessori type preschool by ideally s/he will be at least 2 or 3 before then.

Obviously this is one of those things I will just continue to pray about & leave in God's hands. I know it will all work out. I had an amazing childhood & know that my mom being hoem with us had a lot to do with this. I hope that I can find the right balance between home & work and give my child wonderful memories as well.

19 weeks!

Wow~19 weeks today! Baby Bear ist he size of a mango, which leaves me wondering why I'm the size of a watermelong, but eh whatever! This last week, actually I think it happened over night on Monday I seemed to have popped again! Much higher & rounder then last week! I really do like how I look pregnant, I think my belly is great. However it still upsets me a bit when people say I am huge or make it sound like its something I can control, I eat healthy, and do my best, so oh well! I can't believe I am almost half way there, and Baby Bear & I had a little talk, he or she is coming between 37 & 38 weeks, so if you count that then I am half way! LOL This baby is movign so much now! I love it! Its still REALLY low in my belly but definetly baby. It can't be felt from teh outside yet, soon I hope, Les is so excited to feel it.

Tuesday is the "big" ultrasound. I am totally losing my nerve & SO tempted to find out what this peanut is! I MUST stay strong! I have always dreamed of a delivery room reveal & really want that still! Besdies I won't be able to resist shopping the way I have so far if I knew & I really want to wait until at least after my first shower before I do any shopping. I have been tempted to pick up a few things here or there but am trying really hard not too! LOL Although I have decided I am buying my own diaper bag & have found a few online i really like, so for now that is keeping my shopping occurpied!

We have officially registered! I think we are pretty much done with it as well! It went very well, it helped that I had looked online a lot before we actually went & for the most part knew what we were pickign out. I really struggled with the bottles tho, I ended up registering for some of the born free & some of the Dr.Brown's, hopefully Baby likes one of them. I also registered for 4 different kinds of pacifiers, I am bound & determined for this child to take a paci! Although I plan on motly breastfeeding & hope to do so exclusively for the first few weeks i do want the flexibility of bottlefeeding as well & plan to introduce a bottle between 4 & 6 weeks so we need to be prepared.

Before I got pregnant, even before we started trying I useed to say to Les "I want a baby" I still find myself saying that soemtimes. He just laughs at me. I still can't believe how blessed we are, and that we are going to be parents. I'll be honest, some days it scares the scrap out of me. Most of the time I am just thrilled about it tho! I have dreamed forever about being a mom & I am so happy its comign true. I just hope I can be everything this baby deserves.

Started the Nursery!

While Les was on vacay the past two week he was my handy man! He got so much done around the house! Especially in Baby Bears room!

This is a before shot of the room, which served as a catch all/laundry station

Les worked so hard cleaning out the room. We put the laundry stuff int he laundry room & a lot of the furniture as well...it will be sonice one day when that basement gets finished! Then he put in a closet organizer, which was VERY needed for baby bear's stuff. We picked up some bins at Taget to use to store little things. I think it looks great!

He also got the entire room painted! I love the colour! It is asparagus by BEHR. It matches the bedding perfect! Its such a nice colour! It wa s a little bright going up at first, but now that it has dried, it looks amazing. Here is Les painting!

I am so excited to get the rest of the room put together! It will have to wait until the furniture coems in & then until the showers for the bedding & a lot of the accessories. My sister thinks it is a bit boyish, I am going for gender nuetral however think a bit more boy then girl is OK.

Our ultrasound is next week, I hope baby cooperates and keeps his or her gender a surprise! I have been doing very well resisting the urge to shop for clothes! I am trying SO HARD to wait until after at least my first shower before I buy antyhing. I am sure we will be spoiled, however I still expect to buy socks, mitten, etc. My second shower is not until July 26th, I will be 36 weeks!! That is a litte late for my liking but I dont' really have a say, I will porbably pick up some essesntials before then as I am too worried about leaving a lot until after then.

18 weeks!!

Today I am 18 weeks! Its unbelievable how fast this pregnancy is going! I can't believe how big this belly is getting either! Thats OK its all baby, or I like to tell myself. As pregnancy symptoms go things are certainly improving in some areas, and quickly worsening in others. My nausea is much better, although I wouldn't say cured, it still rears its head occasionally. Hertburn, OMG, I thought I suffered from indigestion before, now its INSANE! I could not live without Zantac & Gaviscon. The fatigue, that was supposed to diminish in 2nd tri has not. I am SO tired, many days I feel like the walking dead. My sleep is getting interupted as well, this is very unusual for me, I usually sleep wonderfully. But lately....ugh its like I just barely fall into a light sleep, then wake to pee, or turn or because my sciatica kills, or my tailbone is throbbing...I guess my body is preparing me for motherhood! I am hungry all the time. Its incredible, in my defense tho I am only able to eat mini meals, its like my stomach capacity has shrunk & my digestion rate has multiplied, I eat and 15 minutes later I am hungry! Although I am quickly expanding I have only gained back the weight i lost in 1st tri, we will see what my 20 week appointment reveals.

April 7th I see Dr.J. I also have my next ultrasound that day. Its the "big one", although we are still holding strong on team green, no gender reveals for us! Hopefully this little one cooperates & doesn't give us a full on crotch shot unexpectantly! I am anxious to ensure that all is well with Baby Bear. We have not gotten the screening resuls back yet, but Dr.J assures us no news is good news Apparently bad results are faxed to him ASAP while negative results take their time comign via snail mail. Also the fact that our little one would have none of the measurements is good as well, as abnormal measurements are easy to get. So hopefully he is right! They will also be chacking my placenta, to see if it has migrated at all while I have been "resting". I know it sounds terrible & obviously all I really care about is Little Bear's well being but i would not be devestated if it was still a previa. Now that I have worked out all my EI stuff with work & I am home its working for us, also shifts at work are seldom right now. Also I am totally OK with a booked section, its actually my dream come true, however I have just prayed that God's will be done.

We started our registry at Babies R Us in the states today. It was fun, I was prepared so I pretty much knew what we were sticking too, but had to remind Les of this! We wanted to keep it small as we only ave a few American family/friends & wanted to have a better selection on our Canadian registries, where most of our guests are from. I love all the baby stuff! Its taking enormous restraint to limit my purchases, but so far so good. I am hoping to control myself until after the showers, to see what we are gifted before I go out and buy too much. I am happy with the nursery progress, since Les is on vacay he has been wonderful. He got the closet organizer up & today I bought some bins to go inside, it looks great. I also got a few cute pegged racks to go with out jungle theme. Les is contemplating starting the painting, which I think wounds great! The more we can get done the better!

Nursery Obsessed!

Well now that I am pretty much on house arrest & spend most of my time surfing the web I have become completely obsessed with the nursery. Les is on a 2 week vacay so he actually got a start on clearing out the closet!! Our goal for these two weeks is to havet he closet organizer put in as well as to have the room emptied.


We spent a little bit of time on the web followed by wandering around Toys R Us this week. And FINALLY we have agreed on a crib set as well as a bedding set. I am so happy! I was really beginning to be tempted to find out if this little one is a boy or a girl because we just could not decide on bedding. I was torn between two sets, both I had to go to the US for & one needed to be ordered online, a real pain! WELL we found one of these sets at Toys R Us! which means we can register for it! I am so excited!! And it happens to be the set Les really likes! We also found a 3 peice lifetime crib set that we love. Here is the crib set & the bedding:





We plan on painting the room green, like in the bedding to make it more gender nuetral. I would also like to do a chocolate brown stripe all the way around the room, I am still trying to win Les over on this one! I wasn't going to go with a themed room but decided I will only decorate a few nurseries & might as well go all out. We have decided on an espresso glider to match with a beige cushion. I feel liek everything is startign to come together!

The OBs office called, my next ultrasound is going to be April 7th, its the "big" anatomy scan & they will also be checking my placenta. I have not had any more bleeding since being off work so hopefully the extra rest is helping! By Tuesday I should have most of my employment insurance papers done & my payments should start coming in about 4 weeks. Its no where near what I would be making if I was working but the baby is worth it & its better then nothing! Our tax returns shoudl be done next week as well, I am a little anxious about this, hopefully we are OK!

These past few nights the baby has been super active, he or she must be getting stronger because I am feeling a lot more movement! I love it! Babe is most active in the evening from about 10pm-12pm, even once I get into bed I can usually feel little wiggles. A few more weeks & hopefulyl Les can share this with me! I think he is really starting to get excited as well, I think the more I show the more it seems real to him, just wait till we have a nursery set up!


We plan on registering next month after the big ultrasound. Until then I will keep up with my planning & browsing trying to make up my mind! I hope to have a lot of what I want decided on to make the actual process go smoother!

I will try to blog more often, however my life these days is not very exciting! I spend lots of time bumping & surfing the web. I try to limit my outings to twice a week and only about 2 hrs at a time. I don't want to stress my body, I am home to care for me & the baby so thats my goal. Hopefully this week I will get my scrapbooking station set up & get a good start on that as well!

17 weeks-Off work!

17 weeks today! Baby Bear is the size of an onion! Baby is doing great, heartbeat was wonderful & my ute was measuring right on. My placenta however continues to be a problem. I had a lot more bleeding on Friday & so after reviewing my ultrasounds Dr.J has decided to take me off work for the rest of my pregnancy. He was pretty clear about my restrictions as well & Les was there for the appointment so hopefully that helps him understand that this is serious. I am too spend most of my time at home, sitting & takeing it east, only light housework & simple meal prep. No laundry, floors, vacuuming, etc. Thank God for my mom, she will be comign everyone Sunday to do a major sweep thru of the house. Hopefully in between Les & I can keep it somewhat put together. He has 2 weeks vacay starting today, I am really hopeing he can get a good start on the nursery. I would like closet organizers put in & the room emptied out.

Everyone IRL likes to point out how huge I am. I know that my bump looks quite round for a mere 17 weeks, but I am not huge. As of now I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight & the belly is measuring at 16, babe is also right on track. Neither of us are giant! Thank you very much. Despite all this drama as I liek to call it I really love beign pregnant. I love looking pregnant, for once in my life I am not self-conscious abotu my weight, I think I look wonderful belly & all. I feel pretty good most of the time & I love knowing that I am nurturing a beautiful being. I am starting to feel little flutters more & more. I can't wait till I feel solid kicks a few weeks from now. I am so excited for when Les can feel baby move as well. We read to Baby Bear every night, a Dr.Suess book, Calvin the Cat enjoys story time as well. He has also aken up a new interest in laying on my belly, I wonder if he can sense a change?

Dear Baby Bear, momma loves you so, I hope you can feel that in your sweet little heart. I am so happy that you are goin to be our baby, I can't wait to meet yo & see your sweet little face. Please keep growing strong & well. Mommy promises to do her part out here, so you do yours & stay cozy int here for about 5 more months mkay? Love you lots peanut, your momma

16 weeks

This is my 16 week photo, I actually think I see a difference from last week! Maybe its just the stripes? I am definetly feeling my little bear moving in there now! Lots of little flutters mostly at night & early in the morning when I am laying down in bed. Everything else is pretty much the same symptom wise, I am tired all the time & heartburn is brutal, but otherwise I really LOVE being pregnant. I can't wait to be a mommy!

I found out today that one of my friends is pregnant, I am so happy for her. They had a loss last spring & have been tryign for almost a year. Its early and I pray that all goes well for them. It will be so nice to have someone else to be pregnant with for the next 5 months!

Yesterday little bear gave us a big scare again. I got up to go to the bathroom & felt a gush. I had a large amount of bright red bleeding, like a period. I freaked out & we headed to the hospital. The nurses treated me liek I was over reacting, but it really unsettled me to see so much blood. We listened for the heartbeat, good & strong in the 150s, where it usually is. Dr. J was called, he wanted me ot have an ultrasound. The tech did a bunch of views both abdominally & vaginally & then left and got the radiologist, who also took more pictures, this worried me. It turns out they were beign very cautious as my placenta is very close to the cervix, they wated to be sure it wasn't covering it, which it wasn't. Dr. J told me to take the weekend off work & just "take it easy". I see him on Tuesday, I think its a strong possibility I will be off work now. I am totally fien with that, I will do anything for the safety of this baby & this pregnancy. Please continue to pray for us!

I am continuing to debate over the nursery decor, I just want it to be perfect! I will post a blog soon with my ideas & inspirations once I figure them out myself!